I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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