fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
