He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
