we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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