i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
