no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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