i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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