Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
