Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
