You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
