These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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