He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A+ Viking dick
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
