I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
