brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
please don't ironically join a cult
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