just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
