I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
