Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
