still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
