I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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