I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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