Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
