before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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