you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
