I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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