her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
