yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
