I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
