We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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