just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Text me some of your sweat
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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