We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
