i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
