I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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