I need help removing her.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
