Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
