No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize