They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
