sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
