i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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