He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
