ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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