she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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