Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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