she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize