I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize