She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
be right there i have to get my cape
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
