Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
