Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
