is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
