just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
