He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
