its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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