sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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