i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
