i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
