the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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