Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
