Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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