Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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