Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
