I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
they're like a gay fantastic four
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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