i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize