Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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