I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
