I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
