I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
false alarm, still single
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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