How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
