Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
