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• (807): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Just flip the mattress, it erases all

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Done and done

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I stole an accordion from the bar

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Accidentally

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success

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• (631): View more from New York

  Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.

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