yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have tasted many bathrooms
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
