2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize