I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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