We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
