i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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