he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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