Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
