I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
