I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
