Screwed.edu
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
